Suicide Post Continued
Another letter continues to deal with the suicide issue and I know this is a complex issue that needs to be looked at from various angles and philosophies. Here is another worth a moment to ponder.
“I understand the logic behind the thoughts and ideas of suicide. People will grieve my passing whether it’s today or tomorrow, so that issue, for me, is moot. I have excellent mental health providers but I do not want to be a career patient. I have attended many groups offered but I’m still not comfortable ‘talking’ about my issues – it’s just who and how I am. But, at the same time, just talking about anything such as the weather, how fast my lawn grows, pretty much anything helps divert my attention from my PTSD and focus on something that I normally would otherwise not
focus on. I don’t get this opportunity much because I don’t really get out
unless I have an appointment or my husband really persuades me to do something – but I’m comfortable being in my own space at home.
My husband also suffers from PTSD and our issues are completely different and we have completely different triggers and so forth which makes it extremely hard for me (and for him as well I’m sure) because I hate to see him going through his troubles and I’m certain he feels the same. Somehow, we’ve made it work this long but every day is a double battle. I’m afraid to express myself so it doesn’t affect him yet having the need to just talk even if it’s not about anything. This is why I talk to my dogs – extremely therapeutic for me. I have kids but they have their own lives, families and needs. I have siblings who also have their own lives, families and needs – so I don’t want to burden anyone. There are very bad days when I am completely certain that it will be my last day on earth
(which is most days) but somehow, I pull through. Maybe one day I won’t just continue and I’m ok with that, but I will fight as hard as I can every day until I can fight no more.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I have my plan when I get to that point. For now, I try to be a listener to those that want it, this helps me probably more than it helps the other individual.
Thanks for covering this topic…I got to vent and that’s a good thing”
I like her spunk and her realistic view of her plan. This was never my plan, but she is entitled. It is her life. The only thing I disagree with is her choice to not talk about hurting. I have not seen or heard anything that works except this. As my wife said, and I’m repeating myself. When I asked her about her job and how long a person has to talk about their problem? Her response was, “A person has to continue to talk about their issues until they don’t have to talk about them anymore.
She is on to something when she said “I try to be a listener to those that want it, this helps me probably more than it helps the other individual” Our website www.beyondptsd.org allows you to listen to others but also be able to post your own thoughts, as well.