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Hate, Hate, Hate
I sometimes look at things and try to break it down into its simplest parts so as to understand it better. This is like a binary code where everything is a series of yes, no or “0” or “1” numbers. So, everything becomes a series of opposites. Love/ Hate, War/ Peace, Acceptance/ Bigotry, Science/ Religion, and so forth. Unfortunately, emotions are hard to calculate since they are influenced by the beholder. Having PTSD or Moral Injuries, further clouds the water since judgement is influenced by our own experiences.
After many years of trying to self-analyze myself, I’ve come to know myself better which may be the only positive that has come out of my PTSD experience. (I would recommend it to others too since it allows growth). When I do something that seems to be out of character for me, I still write it down and try to figure out why? This continues even up to today, and I attempt to understand not only what I’m feeling but why I’m feeling it? I think more people should do this instead of jumping to a side and staying there even when in their hearts they know they are wrong. My saying is, it is never too late to do the right thing.
The mass murder in Orlando, Florida is an example of my thought process. I tried to figure out exactly what I was feeling about it and why others have come to diametrically opposite conclusions from my own. Just as in other mass shootings I see basically the same two sides starting to enlist their teams. One side wants to blame it on too many guns, the other on not enough guns. Obviously both sides cannot be right. Whenever something like this occurs, I try to look to the logical conclusions if both sides had their way. Therefore, one side would have no guns and the other would have everyone carrying multiple guns. This is absurd to think about because it couldn’t possible happen. Our Constitution allows people to bear arms with a regulated militia so we couldn’t take guns away since the Constitution grants them. Hunters, target practice people, even those who chose to defend themselves have a voice in this and their side has some compelling arguments. The opposite side look at their personal situations and their fear that left unregulated life becomes more perilous. Their side must be attended to, as well. 
The question then is, “Can we not agree on someplace that we can come together where each side has to give and take a bit? There are some questions that can not have a definitive answer. Does asking for a slight change in the existing law immediately mean that those asking for some relief want to get rid of the 2nd Amendment? Is there not some sensible mid-ground that isn’t so politically charged?
The second part of my thinking was the obvious choice of the shooter to choose a gay bar to do his killings. I hope that this was not a purposeful choice but there have to be many more straight bars than gay bars so this might have been his target. I’m using some deductive reasoning on this issue since I am no surer about of the answer than the next guy. 
What is it about LBGT that gets straight people so upset? I certainly don’t get it. None of them have ever hurt me. Since they’ve been legally allowed to be married I haven’t felt that my marriage has been harmed. I don’t see where Heterosexuals have a lock on a happy marriage since the divorce rate is over 50%. LGBT people seem to be what would be referred to as “Normal” to me.
I know there is a Religious argument in here and I’ve said many times in this blog I am not a very religious person. Apparently, there is a passage in the Bible that condemns Homosexuality. Again, what the passage or verse is I couldn’t tell you, but there is also a passage in the Bible that says that God made man in his own image. Nowhere in the Bible, I’d be willing to bet, does it say that someone else created the homosexuals. Does this not mean that God made homosexuals too? Since the New Testament talks more about love than retribution. Does this not seem incongruous for those who claim to be religious, that we should not love someone just because they are different? Does God not want us to love one another? Instead in some alternate Universe he wishes us to kill others that we don’t care about? Nowhere in my wildest imagination can I see a World where someone’s God would want anyone to enter a nightclub and kill 49 homosexuals.
These are 2 of the issues I’ve been thinking about. Now about my PTSD. Because of my disaffection for War and killing, I am so saddened by this mass murder and every mass murder inclusively. Muhammed Ali said it clearly when he refused to go and fight in Vietnam. He said something like, “I refuse to go to some foreign land and kill dark skinned people just because my Country orders it”. Honestly, looking back on it I wish I could have mustered up the courage to have resisted the draft too.
I am against hate and violence and have attempted to always look for a possible peaceful solution instead of the opposite. I hate candidates who are constantly playing on the frailties of people to stir them up with rhetoric that is so divisive. “Build a wall, Ban all Muslims, Too many immigrants, Women are Pigs”. I just am against Hate. Are we not the UNITED States of America? Doesn’t the Constitution say ALL MEN are created equal? The Statue of Liberty proclaims, “Give us your Tired and poor and huddled masses yearning to be free”. Is this just a saying or do we believe it? Do these solid rocks on which have created this wonderful Country only apply to the certain ones that someone decides are deserving? Or is it like George Orwell said, “All men are created equal it’s just that some are more equal than others.”
I received a post from an old High School pal who said, “I’m 75 years old and I only want to sit back and let the young people figure it out and frankly you should too”. I’m sorry for his position, I’m really saddened by it. I refuse to allow things to happen around me that I disagree with and choose to sit it out and let others make the choices for me. Our voices must be heard. Being silent is sometimes a tacit agreement. Whoever said that we “should never speak about Religion or Politics” was not speaking to me. I know I’ll be criticized for talking Politics at this site and “what does this have to do with PTSD?” My answer is that this current situation, where everything is divisive, stirs up my PTSD. I don’t want to hate everyone who disagrees with me. I don’t want everything to be Hate, Hate, Hate. We should be able to disagree and still be friends.

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