I was driving in my car with my wife who was on the telephone. As most of you know, she is a psychologist and she also teaches and trains other psychologists. She really knows her stuff. She is a therapist and something called a Psycho-analyst (Not really sure how to differentiate. Suffice it to say she has 2 separate Doctorates)
Anyway, I couldn’t hear the entire conversation and could only sort of guess what was going on, on the other end. My wife was talking to another therapist. The therapist was talking about one of her problem patients. The patient was complaining that she was not getting what she wanted from the therapy. When the therapist would listen and then offer some possible solutions to the patient, the patient would get angry that the therapist was not feeling the client’s pain. When the therapist would comment that she was feeling the client’s pain the patient would get angry that the therapist was not curing her and she needed useful solutions not platitudes.
My wife offered some advise, to the therapist, which I’ve heard from her before. She said that the therapist’s role was to bear witness to the clients pain. She continued that no one can actually feel the pain of another, no matter how clear they may be about it and what was going on. All the therapist really can do is to experience the pain that the patient is experiencing that is experienced by them from the clients description. This is possible believe it or not and the feeling of pain is real although once removed from the event. The incident, however, is being felt through the therapists lens and experiences.
The same is true of this PTSD blog. Others who may be reading what you or I have to say may have similar experiences that are awakened in themselves. Though painful to hear, these stories are valuable and need to be exposed to the light of day. Not only is it beneficial for the one reporting but other PTSD sufferers will benefit as well since they too will experience their own pain and hopefully be emboldened with the courage to explore their own dark sides of PTSD.
You must help yourself to get well but in that process you might help someone else too. Remember this PTSD blog is only a tool for you to use but you must be the one that searches for your own cure. It won’t happen over night with a bolt of incite from out of the blue. I truly believe that recovery is accomplished inch by inch until you find what you are looking for and the healing can begin.
Staying stuck takes effort resisting everyone’s attempts to help. It’s like trying to extricate yourself from mud. It takes a lot more effort to get the movement started but once you do start the movement gets easier.